Mr Halsey

  1) Type up your teacher's feedback   in full  plus a summary of the comments you received from other students in the class.   One absolutely massive immediate problem: it’s in portrait. This is a professional TV brief and it’s crucial you produce something that could go on Netflix or iPlayer and not look out of place (if you want a top grade). This is effectively a YouTube short which is a completely different type of media. I don’t like the opening POV shot – it feels like a 90s videogame rather than a 2023 TV drama. The prop / blood is OK but the shot lasts too long. I like the heartbeat-style sound effect / music in the background, it’s perfect for building tension. The dialogue communicates meaning but it’s pretty clichéd – it feels like a narrative/character that has been done before. There’s also no clear positioning of the audience in terms of who we are meant to be sympathising with. Are we on his side or not?  2)

Crime Drama •Name: Mercenary •Tagline: Play the game, die by it. •Genre: Crime Drama •TV Broadcasting: Netflix • Opening Sequence (3 minutes) Narrative The opening shots will contain a dimly lit atmosphere which fits the crime genre and gives an eerie vibe to the main character. He will clean up his previous hit he has conducted and gets ready for the next which starts off the main plot. The plot is the main character carrying out a hit on a wanted criminal who has heavily damaged society. This fits with Propp's character theory with the main character being a typical "hero" and the criminal being the "villain". By getting rid of a thug at the very start of the show forms a equilibrium. However, we can than see the emotional baggage of the hit man afterwards who has a mental breakdown over the act he has committed and reconsiders leaving the profession yet is blackmailed by his agency (disequilibrium). This now allows the audience to sympathise with the main cha